Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Sit and Spin

I forgot to bring my anthology for my African American literature class today, so I worked on a quiz for philosophy. Now I have time to clear my thoughts.

I love the phrase "clear your thoughts", but a more accurate description should be "resolve my issues". When someone makes the commitment to do more than one "career style opportunity" (school, second job, parenting, etc.), time becomes the most valuable commodity ever. Most people don't really think about time unless there are obligations to meet.

As my life unfolds, I have to think of everything as an obligation. I'm a diabetic, and I have to make the obligation to myself to take my meds and to eat proper meals. As a parent, I have the obligation to make emotional connections to and command respect from my children. As a husband, I have the obligation to support and to be a partner to my wife. As a student, I have the obligation to learn and perform my studies at the best of my ability. As a rep for AT&T, I have the obligation to help my customers to the best of my ability. That's a lot.

I feel like with all this obligation, I'm in the middle of a centrifuge, expelling out what I can't live without. Extended family, friends, sports, video games, social media; all have taken a hit. I'm at the point now, though, that diabetes management is starting to slip my mind, and this cannot happen.

I want to get back into the routine I was at last year. I know that is not going to happen. My "thought to clear" today is how I get from where I am to not dreading diabetes management, talking to my wife or kids, or dreading work.

I love my family, I know I have gained a bunch of weight back, and I do love my job at its core. How do I also make myself happier so I can do the others easier? This is my question of the day.