krisguy's blog

For those of you that follow me on Twitter or Facebook, I went to the hospital on Monday, 14 June 2009, with a 104F temp, blackouts, dehydration, and severely high sugars. Turns out I had pneumonia that turned acute within the previous 12 hours.

Couldn't have been a worse week to get sick. Our store has been seriously busy, and with the iPhone 3GS launching, the weekend was supposed to be all hands on deck, open to close from Tuesday to Sunday for me.

I tried to go to work Friday so I can get some sales, because I wasn't about to let my big commission go, but I failed. I ended up leaving after 8 hours of work because I couldn't breathe at all. My boss told me to stay home over the weekend to rest, but it doesn't seem to be helping.

I don't think I'm cut out for retail anymore. I can't keep up with the pace, I keep getting sick, I'd much rather be a dad than sell phones, I am tired of defending AT&T, my coworkers annoy me constantly, and I want to do something different.

I've been taking time to think this week and I have decided a few truths:

1. No one really cares about anything that I care about, not even my wife.
2. I can't really explain anything about what I'm passionate about.
3. I don't have time to do anything other than work and be a dad, at least not without a laptop.
4. I am so mentally unprepared for things that I can't ever get past idea stages.
5. I'm afraid to talk about anything tech publicly due to my employment with AT&T.

The third point is the easiest to fix, that's just money. The last one is easy to change too, but hard for me, since the money is needed big time. The first one can be fixed once I figure out how to fix 2 and 4.

I'm just so tired I don't know how to refind my passion, and how to excute it. I want to know how people that have felt lost gotten back up, found something to be passionate about (without getting apathy or getting past it), and excuted.

Disclaimer: This post is my opinion only, not those of my employer or anyone else working for same employer.

I'm really getting tired of my phone going off today.

It's my day off, I'm sick (blood sugar has been over 200 mg/dL all day), and my son is home. I'm trying to take time to be a good father, but I am getting this conversation over and over again:

Customer: Why do I have to pay $399? I only paid $199 last year!

Me: You paid $199 last year. The phone you got was sold at a $400 discount at that time. The big discount on the phone is given every 18-21 months for a new 2year contract starting that day.

Customer: But that's outrageous! Who would pay $399 for a phone.

Me: I would. Most phones at that price are no contract or unlocked. I have friends (my old friends from Jaiku especially) that pay $500-$700 for Nokia smartphones so they don't have to worry about contracts.

Customer: I deserve the best price and I don't want to extend my contract! I want you to look up my account right now.

Me: Sorry, I'm at home with my son and it's my day off. You can call customer care, look at your account online, or call my store directly, but I can't access your account from home.

C: Fine then, I'll get the *whatever phone*.

M: Same thing, I'm afraid. Since your contract hasn't hit upgrade time, you can get XXX phone with a $75 discount from it's full price.

This is how carriers have always kept the prices of the devices down, by subsidy. I like it because it takes a major barrier down to getting something that works for you, but it masks the true cost of the hardware, then people can't wrap their heads around it.

Everyone at my store explains this every time we sell a phone. I even go further and send home a brochure that shows AT&T's upgrade rules as it compares to time vs. revenue. Every AT&T corp store can get these, so ask for one if you want to know.

Not much to talk about as I blog this from work on Sunday. It's already a goofy weekend for my sugars, as I go from low, to high, to low. I'm short on sleep, and the sleep I'm getting isn't great. When I get home tonight, I'm going to try sleeping on the floor in the living room to see if it's my mattress (most likely is, it's 6 years old with two overweight people sleeping on it).

I'm going to my assistant manager Seth's house after work for a cookout. I've got Baked Lay's Barbecue chips and Diet Dew with me. I'm also wearing my Qik T-Shirt that Jackie and Bashkar from Qik sent me. You guys are such sweethearts for sending that, and I'll even buy a few more shirts!

When I get home, it's gonna be Call of Duty: World at War for a while on XBox Live. This game is pretty spiritual for me, because I think about all of the carnage that goes on in this game, and it hits me every time that we ACTUALLY DID THIS SHIT TO EACH OTHER in WWII. There are no winners in war, only survivors.

Monday is going to be a nice day at home for me. I'm planning on getting some laundry done and getting some time in on ChaCha in the AM, then in the PM, it's hardcore coding and cooking some of my HRC casserole. I'll make sure I get some Flickr post made of that as well. That night, I'm going to do an overnight pulse oximetry to see if my high blood sugars are the Dawn Effect or sleep apnea.

I'm tired of browbeating myself for my idea, because others have similar things. I'm ready to put my energy into this to get things going, and I am doing this for me, but there will be more people that can benefit if this works.

Diabetes is a lifelong disease that's more than just numbers. Numbers are huge, as anyone will tell you, but emotion, passion, fear, hate, disgust, and acceptance from yourself and your loved ones is important.

Why can't both of them be in the same spot?

I want to create a diabetes log that has empahsis on emotion and numbers both, but makes it easier for people to tie this into their lifestream. I want to be able to post my numbers to Twitter automatically, and tie in blog post links about what is happening to get these numbers. FriendFeed and laconi.ca too.

Here's an example:

When you login, Quick Entry options will include BG, food, exercise, and mood, so you can get the basics done right. If you have a few more minutes, then you can expand on this, and post to your blog, and tie the blog post to the sugars in this log's database. This will make things easier for tracking.

I know this isn't the full design, but I want to get people excited about this like I am. I'm on vacation and working on the full mind map and basic structure so I have a better idea.

Why am I doing this? I am a binge eater, very emotional. I am also one of those people that if I don't see it in black and white, I don't think it's existing. At this point, I care if people would like to use it, but if I'm the only one that uses this to help my family help me, that's what counts.